I became a mother at the age of 16, married my daughter's father, and was getting divorced by the time I graduated from Columbine High School in 1993.
I spent the next 8 1/2 years as a single mom until I married my husband at age 26. We suddenly started learning how difficult a blended family can be -- with my daughter and his 3 girls...and 2 exes.
Less than 7 years later, I thought I was living my dream life until we suddenly separated, due to circumstances I'd been unaware of. We'd had 3 kids together, the youngest was only 3 months old.
I started preparing divorce papers when something spoke to my heart: "Wait..Let's see what he does with this".
I became a single mom again, with 4 kids this time. Meanwhile, my husband and I started learning how to rebuild ourselves and our relationship.
I began to recognize that even though I grew up in a happy, loving family, my husband did not. I started to glimpse of the effects that childhood trauma has on a person. And I noticed that the trauma my kids and I were going through was having an effect on us -- individually and as a family.
After a 3 year separation, my husband and I were able to fully reconcile. We had so much to navigate. We had to learn how to communicate, how to get vulnerable, to have compassion, to forgive, to let down walls.....and so much more.
Learning how to work through these things is what's made our marriage a success. We've both spent the last 15 years studying, reading, listening, getting trainings & certifications, but above all else -- a whole lot of trial and error -- being committed to figure it out.
To figure ourselves out individually and figure our marriage out together.